Breaking the Silence on Men’s Mental Health: how your psychologist can be your wingman
Hey there, fellas! Let's dive into a topic that often plays hide and seek in the shadows - men's mental health. We've all heard the saying, "Real men don't cry," but here's a newsflash: Real men absolutely do cry, and that's perfectly okay!
The Silent Struggle
Picture this: You're cruising through life, tackling work, relationships, and the occasional existential crisis when suddenly, BAM! You find yourself tangled in the complex web of your own thoughts and emotions. It happens to the best of us. The problem is, many men are taught to power through it, mask their feelings, and never let anyone see them ‘sweat’. I am hopeful that with each generation this attitude is changing but if I am honest, there are times when I feel society takes two steps forward and one step back. It can be hard not to be defeatist.
Enter the Psychologist:
So, why should you consider chatting with a psychologist? Well, think of them as your emotional personal trainers. They've got the skills to help you bench press those heavy emotions and do mental push-ups until your resilience muscles are toned and ready to face the world.
Safe Space to Unload: Psychologists provide a judgment-free zone where you can spill the beans without worrying about being labeled weak or whiny. It's like a man cave for your mind, a place where you can open up about the stuff you might not feel comfortable sharing with your buddies over a game of poker or over a few pints** at the pub. They’re used to hearing the big issues too. I’m talking about the issues that you haven’t told anyone. The issues that you think make you weird, strange, perverted, bad, or even mad. I couldn’t count the amount of times I’ve had a man on my couch who starts off with “This is probably going to sound weird”, or “You’re going to think I’m mad”. And guess what? It has never been anything unusual or shocking to me. The fact is that whatever you think makes you bizarre or different your psychologist has probably heard it twice already that week. So, I mean it - your psychologist’s office truly is a safe space to unload.
Skillful Listening and Feedback: Ever wish someone would just listen without interrupting or trying to fix everything? Psychologists are pros at this. They're like the friends who let you vent for hours without uttering a word, and then, when you're done, they offer insights and strategies to tackle whatever's on your plate.
Emotional Toolbox: These professionals don't just sit back and nod – they equip you with a toolbox full of emotional tools. Whether it's mindfulness techniques, communication skills, or stress-busting exercises, psychologists provide practical solutions to help you navigate life's rollercoaster.
Navigating Relationships: Struggling in your romantic relationships, friendships, or family dynamics? Psychologists are relationship GPS systems. They help you understand and improve your connections with others, making sure your emotional GPS is calibrated for smooth sailing. And yes, psychologists can help with problems in the bedroom too.
Probably Not What You Think It Is: Chances are therapy isn’t what you thought it would be. Some people think therapy is going to be all about their childhood, analysing their dreams, or perhaps criticising their mother and father. Don’t get me wrong, therapy can be this (we psychologists certainly love to deep dive into the human psyche) but it doesn’t have to be. Some therapeutic interventions, such as cognitive behaviour therapy and ISTDP, offer change without needing to spend much time delving into the past at all. In my experience it is likely that the relevant stuff from the past will naturally come up however symptom relief can be gained without needing to do the whole autopsy of your childhood and every interaction you’ve ever had since. Therapy is (or should be) collaborative. You should be a willing participant in your treatment. You and your therapist should mutually agree on the problem you wish to work on as well as what interventions you are going to try to use to facilitate change. Therapy isn’t something that is done to you but rather it is done with you, together, side by side, with your therapist.
Debunking the Stereotypes: Let's kick those toxic stereotypes to the curb. Seeing a psychologist isn't a sign of weakness; it's a power move. It's taking control of your mental well-being like a boss. Real strength lies in recognising when you need a helping hand, and psychologists are there to guide you without judgment. Around half my client base are men so if you are considering seeing someone you are not alone.
In a world where societal expectations can be suffocating, psychologists stand as allies, ready to tackle men's mental health issues head-on. So, gentlemen, let's rewrite the narrative. It's time to embrace vulnerability, seek support when needed, and let psychologists be the co-pilots in our journey towards mental well-being. After all, the bravest thing a man can do is face his demons, and a psychologist is the ultimate sidekick in that epic quest.
If you would like to book an appointment with Penelope Lovegrove you can do so here.
** Apologies to all my Sydney family and friends but I have been living and working in Melbourne for a long time now so… it’s pints as opposed to schooners !
